Season 2 Episode 18 (10/4-10/5): Durham Days of Awe. Butner, NC to Durham, NC

Season 2 Episode 18 (10/4-10/5): Durham Days of Awe. Butner, NC to Durham, NC – 

10/4. 20 miles. 

Glorious day cycling by Falls Lake on our short approach to Durham.

Finally seeing more Autumn colors.

Re-enacting photo in front of Bell Tower where we dropped Sydney off at college 8 years ago

Last week, we looked at a photo of our family that we took (just a few feet from the above photo spot) when we dropped Sydney off as a freshman in August 2014. 

2014 Freshman drop off

I cried that day. Letting go. Saying bye to our eldest. Considering that she may never live with us again, nor move back to the NY area. (If not for Covid, she may not have.) In looking at that photo, anybody could see the obvious physical changes in our kids from then ages 18, 16 and 12. And can see obvious maturing. And when we look at our parents’ generation we see obvious changes of aging. Why when we look at ourselves is it so much harder to see the changes? Do we really change that much less or just can’t see ourselves as clearly? And hadn’t we better change and grow or else isn’t that kind of dismal not to? 

About 11 a.m., we arrived at Lindsey and David’s charming home in Durham. They were classmates of Sydney’s and are dear friends, and Lindsey was one of her two senior year housemates. Lindsey had stayed at our house about a month ago, and we discussed the possibility of us coming to Durham and she so graciously invited us. Or we think we didn’t invite ourselves? She has clearly followed the blog as she had fresh, warm homemade pumpkin bread for us. We obliged by eating most of it within hours. It was like we arrived for Thanksgiving instead of Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement. 

After showing us around her house, she led us to the back door to see the yard and to say hi to David and their well-behaved and well-trained dog, Watson. When the back door opened, something else awaited us. You can click here to see. 

It was the most wonderful surprise. Well, Heather was surprised. I had imagined Syd may do this so was less shocked. But after my initial non-phased response, I soon choked up with a few tears. 

We naturally headed for lunch to an East Campus institution, Monuts.

Or if it were me spelling, it would be Moanuts as my “build-your-own” was indeed as moan-worthy as a I remembered from my last visit 4 years ago. 

For the record it was: biscuit, egg over easy, melted mozzarella, tomatoes, onions, avocado, aioli.

But even before our meals, we made a dent in our desserts.

We relaxed in the wonderfully calming Duke Gardens.

No Duke visit is complete without an iconic Chapel stop.

Heather and I went to services that evening at the incredibly warm, welcoming, inclusive Beth El synagogue. We were quite moved by how they began and set the tone for the evening with memory candles lit by all those who lost a loved one this past year. 

It was a very reflective experience. 

We created one new tradition that I may consider carrying forward. Throughout my life, both growing up and for Heather and me, I’ve eaten a traditional, home cooked meal before attending services and fasting for 24 hours. In Durham, we dined at Mother and Sons Trattoria. Italian food is a great way to begin the fast! The most memorable dishes were gnocchi with butternut squash, deconstructed Bruschetta with ricotta and chili spread, mushroom risotto that demanded every drop be cleaned up with extra focaccia, and chicken perfectly cooked in a wood burning oven. Crisp on the outside, juicy within. The decor with high ceilings, exposed brick, and stacked wood that feeds the oven set a great ambience. 

*    *     *

10/5 Durham

It’s well known that Dodgers great, and hall-of fame pitcher, Sandy Koufax decided to not pitch game one of the 1965 World Series as it fell on Yom Kippur.  I’m convinced he also did not ride a bike on Yom Kippur, so neither did we. 

Heather and I again enjoyed meaningful services at Beth El, and more calming time in the Duke Gardens with Syd before Lindsey rose to the occasion hosting a wonderful break-fast meal.  

Lindsey’s break-fast meal. Heather rejected my suggestion that we bring our bikes into our dining room at home.

As somebody recently said to me, it’s hard to resist the siren song of Monuts! So back we went for breakfast on our day leaving Durham.  

Our two days in Durham were intended to be an opportunity to connect more with Lindsey and David and to have a meaningful holiday experience. While it checked both those boxes fully, it was so much more. Sydney’s surprise just elevated the stay to a different level that will propel us forward to our final 3 weeks with renewed strength and enthusiasm. As she is the ultimate Survivor super-fan, it figures she knows just how to play the “loved ones” visit to the maximum impact.  

© Copyright Mark Segal 2022